Thursday, May 23, 2013

Calgary, is that you?


Half an hour after I stepped through our front door I was on the floor in our bedroom ripping things out of my suitcase, bawling. Mark sat behind me saying 'hey, hey' to get me to turn around and stop. This was towards the end of a pretty big argument we had. I was overcome with disappointment and Mark was drowning in unworthiness. We fought, we cried, we talked again about our expectations, we made up and hugged sitting cross legged on the ground for a really long time. Two hours later, I posted a picture on Instagram of us happily cuddled up on the couch with the letters H-O-M-E scrawled across our faces. I posted the picture and then suddenly felt like such a crock. It's funny how little people know about your real lives you know? Not that we weren't happy in the moment, not that I wasn't again reminded how good it is to curl up next to the one you love and in a way I think we needed to have that argument, as much as it took the happy haze of homecoming away for a little while; it was us and we made it through to the other side. It's just funny the things we choose to share with the world. But seriously how acceptable would it be to post a picture mid argument saying 'Mark and I are fighting'.. people would be so uncomfortable, right? I think so. I don't know what I would think, it's just so far from the social media reality we've created. It'd be pretty cool though. 

Yesterday Mark had the day off and we slept in, puttered about, went for coffee (root beer for Mark) went for a walk, got library cards, ate popsicles and watched a movie with wine and popcorn (again, root beer for Mark) and then went to sleep on our futon in the living room (Mark's Dad is staying with us). It was a good day and I was acutely aware of how much I was enjoying it. I used to not enjoy this type of day, would constantly feel like we needed to be 'doing something important', but i'm slowly realizing/allowing these days to be important as well. Days where busyness is far away and enjoying each other is our only task for the day. How lucky. 

I need to find a job. Desperately. I need to finish my online courses. Even more desperately. Guys, I put every single important tax related piece of mail I had somewhere in the house before I left 5 weeks ago.. every T4… and now I can't find them. This is the worst! I've been tearing everything apart and they are nowhere to be found. What would possess me to do that? I'm so forgetful. It's starting to be a problem. We need our tax return. Crap. Also, it's super rainy in Calgary which I'm not used to and feels awfully west coastish. I am resisting the urge to jump on a plane for one last visit to Halifax before real life sets in. I think Mark would kill me though and I really don't want to leave him again. Resisting...This last paragraph has been a list of my problems.

Meeeanwhile, here are some things that I photographed on our floor whilst unpacking. 

First... we have this crazy chocolate stash thanks to Mark's per diem down in California. To be honest, I'm not a chocolate person. So anyone in the Calgary area... come and git it (with a visit).

This is some sweet Japanese stationary supplies I picked up in San Francisco.

Thrifted finds. It was a little bit ironic, when Mark and I were having our lil' argument, one of the things I wrenched out of the suitcase and threw onto the bed was this 'Home Sweet Home' picture. We giggled about it later. 


I came home to see a new globe has been added to our collection, thanks to the amazing garage saling skills of Mr. Peter Freeman

I found this sweet jacket in Portland. 

I picked up some prints in Portland as well. In hindsight it's a bit funny that I chose this bird print, since I am really quite frightened of birds and find these two to look a little angry and scary. Mark loves them though, so that's good. 

Reminders, y'know? 

Gardening themed art. I can't wait to plant some stuff now that I'm home! 

More reminders.

I put these carnations between the pages of a book before I left, and came home to these perfectly pressed little darlings. Happy.

On our walk yesterday. Sometimes it's a challenge getting a good picture of this guy. But usually not. 

Our library! And guess what? It's built into the side of a hill, so there is basically a park up top. Hobbit library. We like it. There was a pretty librarian with a few wispy grey hairs who set us up with library cards, and she was just so librarian-y, we loved it. 

P.S the new Hillsong United album 'Zion' is so, so good. Love it. 

1 comment:

  1. This is a great post Beth. Thank you for sharing the "not so great" moments in life too! We all have them - why are we so afraid to let the world see them?

    Being real is what touches hearts. Your realness touched mine.

    Have a great weekend!