today i feel incredibly normal. i don't like it.

nap time! (does anyone else need to keep the lights on when they take naps? i hate waking up and everything is dark, it makes me feel lonely and scared. lights on remedies this and although it takes a bit longer to fall asleep it is worth it in the end. try it out sometime friend. or maybe you don't nap. in which case, weird. i feel sorry for you. although sometimes i hate the nap and have strong negative feelings toward it, it is definitely something that brings me much joy and only rarely strong waves of grumpiness.)

this post needs a picture. DONE.



obviously, this is what showed up when i google imaged 'cool'.

this also showed up. this image however, i find rather creepy. especially the decorative edge around his boot cut jeans. come ON!


i hope you are not disappointed with these two cool images.

Rainer Maria Rilke

I'm too alone in the world, yet not alone enough
to make each hour holy.
I'm too small in the world, yet not small enough
to be simply in your presence, like a thing-
just as it is.

I want to know my own will
and to move with it.
And I want, in the hushed moments
when the nameless draws near,
to be among the wise ones -
or alone.

I want to mirror your immensity.
I want never to be too weak or to old
to bear the heavy, lurching image of you.

I want to unfold.
Let no place in me hold itself closed,
for when I am closed, I am false.
I want to stay clear in your sight.

I would describe myself
like a landscape I've studied
at length, in detail;
like a word I'm coming to understand;
like a pitcher I pour from at mealtime;
like my mother's face;
like a ship that carried me
when the waters raged.

I, 13

i am the only one left in b.c.
i miss these two gems.